


Only Seen in Light of Day

by Alexandria (heartfullofelves)



Category: Carmilla - J. Sheridan Le Fanu
Genre: F/F, Past Relationship(s), Post-Canon, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 11:45:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11252493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartfullofelves/pseuds/Alexandria
Summary: Laura had lied to herself.





	Only Seen in Light of Day

**Author's Note:**

> I finished Carmilla today and was disappointed there was nothing about Laura's reaction to Carmilla's death, so I had to write one.
> 
> Given that I'm not a fan of vampires, it's kinda weird that I read the book, let alone wrote a fic, but it's proof that a) I'll read anything if it's got lesbians in it and b) I’ll do anything to procrastinate studying.

Laura should not be shocked by the revelation. Deep down, she had known there was something off about Carmilla, something not quite right. But she had ignored her intuition and let herself be seduced by a pretty face and loving arms, throwing her doubts aside for what she had wanted to be true. She had wanted Carmilla to love her.

So why, when she’d had her doubts and suspicions all along, does she feel so betrayed? She knows the answer to this too: because she had loved Carmilla in return. Worse – she loves her still, and misses her with an intensity she knows is wrong – she knew Carmilla so short a time, and the Carmilla she thought she knew turned out to be a monstrous creature that deserved what it got. She should not feel this way.

She tells no-one how she feels. They would not understand how, even knowing what she knows, she could miss Carmilla so much. They would not understand how she misses Carmilla’s sweet smile, her voice, her thick, lustrous hair that Laura loved to touch before she said good night. They would not understand how much Laura wishes she could hold Carmilla in her arms again and return the kisses Carmilla bestowed upon her face.

It is bad enough they know Carmilla was a vampire; they need not know she was a seductress as well.

When Laura found out how Carmilla had been killed, her stomach had turned and she had retired to her bedroom, lying in bed and trying not to vomit. She had wept for the friendship, the love Carmilla had given her. She had mourned its devastating end. Angry, upset, she had denied it at first, but in time she had accepted the truth, accepted that Carmilla was no longer.

Now she sees more clearly. Now she blames herself for falling into Carmilla’s trap. She sees how foolish she was to not look beneath the surface. How foolish she was to fall for someone she knew nothing about, someone who would volunteer nothing about herself. To fall for someone so suspicious, with her disappearances and strange sleeping habits, is inexplicable. Laura _should_ have known better, and she can only blame herself for becoming so attached so soon, for Carmilla’s early behaviour had been reserved to the extreme and not warranted Laura’s attraction.

Sighing, her fingertips trace the mark on her neck as she gazes out the window in what was Carmilla’s bedroom. She had lied to herself all along, and that is why it hurts so much. Someday, she will move on and the pain will be gone, for time heals all wounds. But she will carry inside her the memory and the lesson she learnt forever.


End file.
